Friday, November 13, 2009
Yes I lost the house and BELEIVE YOU ME I am sooo Glad I did so many things that my brother and his son was falling apart and with 15% interst rate CAUSE HE WOULD NOT WORK WITH ME. I am sooooo glad that THEY WILL NOT KNOW WHERE I am LIVING. CAUSE I NEVER WANT anything to do with them LIKE I keep on IT IS FINISH NO BROTHER NO NIECES ( they are the ones that want to keep things going) nephew is a different story he has stayed out of it so far. I told your sister-in-law LONG TIME AGO ALL ABOUT IT 9BROTHER AND ME) You know there are people that want to keep things going on and on but When they stand before the the Holy One They will be lucky to get in those pearly Gates because they want to keep things going on and try to DISTROY LEAVE ME ALONE YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS IN THIS LIKE I SAID it has benn between brother and me AND by THE WAY you MIGHT GET ON YOUR KNEES AND PRAY one for forgiveness and that the laws in OHIO never change because they have change some all ready I will go after him!!! Then we will see whos lieing .... REMEMBER I do have witnesses....................
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Up date I won the auction I was wrong about the statrting bid it was 84,000. and that is what I got it for they told me it might be 2 months before I get the paper work before I can have the title.. I just want to be DONE. I am going to get help for all the emotions I have.. I have depression anger with the other crap the goes with it.
As of Jan 22 nd I have NO BROTHER.. He CAN NOT HURT me any more.... As Jesus said on the cross "IT IS FINISH... "
As of Jan 22 nd I have NO BROTHER.. He CAN NOT HURT me any more.... As Jesus said on the cross "IT IS FINISH... "
Monday, January 19, 2009
Jan 18 th 2009
I was able to get a loan and we offered my brother $40,000 plus the taxes for the house it has been 5 dasy and no answer . We only have 3 days to go before the auction. Starting bid is 42,000 appraisal is 126,000. I am trying to find out if the loan company will let me bid on it. Which might be the best way for me to go cause arond here houuses are not going very fast. I know of one house that they have auction 3 times and still no buyer. I know that this one will go but it won't go for much... So I might be able to get it next to nothing...
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Come on in and sit down for awhile...
I will tell you about myself. I am the one that the system has failed over and over again. Everything that has happened in my life is web into my soul. Things I have never told to anyone. I shame I feel and the hurt. Blaming myself for what has happen, the insecurities, the worthlessness and yea not worthy of love or anything good in my life.
I was born on June 25th 1953. My mom and dad had given up trying to have another child when I came along. She had my brother 7 years before me.My brother had three accidents when he was 2-3 years old. The first one was ... Mom had a pan of oil on the stove and he pulled the pan down, his chest was burn pretty bad. The second one he fell down a flight of stairs. The third one (I think) was pneumonia. The Drs told mom and dad that one of these accidents caused his deafness... They didn't discover that he was deaf until he was about 9 years old. Mom always blamed herself for it. She would always say how she would whip him for things, because she did not know that he was deaf. Mom and Dad had to drive him 120 miles to a deaf school, where he lived most of his life. He would come home on some week-ends and would be home some weeks during the summer.Now back to me...I don't know when things started. I can only remember back to the age of 5, my brother molested me. I would tell my mom and she would tell me I was lying. So I guess I started thinking that it was ok. At the age of 8 my cousins had come for a visit, yes they witnesses it.
That summer mom was sleeping (she worked third shift) he was ironing, he had got mad at me and he took the iron and put it on my arm 1st-3rd degree burn from my wrist to my elbow. I screamed and woke mom up and well... Mom said that he was punished enough just by knowing what he had done to me.
At the age of 10 when young girls learn about Mother Nature is when I decided I was not going to let it happen anymore. Well, he still would over power me and he started saying that he would kill mom and dad if I would tell them...So Shhhh....Don't Tell... I believe when I had turned 12 and my brother got married things would stop even though they lived with us. We move from one town to another one, that was 10 miles away, different counties on my 13th b-day.
One year had passed he had left me alone. YEA!!! New home, new school starting 7th grade, riding a bus to school I can breath, a new start... One day after school let out I was at my locker and my brother came up and said that mom and dad had asked him to come and pick me up. I had no reason not to believe him. Well he didn't take me home he took me out in the country and he raped me... I can't remember why I didn't tell, maybe cause deep down inside I knew it would be pointless.
My brother and his wife, with mom and dad's help, bought the house right across the street. He left me alone again. WHEW!!!!!! At 16 my mom and dad decided they were going to Florida while I was in school. I could stay at the house till it was bedtime then I was to go over to my brothers house. Things went along TILL........ One day I was doing my home work and he came over he asked me if he could help me and I told him no. Well Home work was the last thing that was on his mind... I sort of had a sinking feeling, so I was kind of prepared myself..... I made it into mom and dad's bathroom and lock the door, BUT NOT; before he had hit me over and over again I had black and blue marks all over my neck and face... I call my girlfriend when he had left she came down right away and I told her what had happened. My boyfriend came with his friend and I told them. I ended up staying with her family, till mom and dad came home... Oh when I went to school everyone would ask me what had happened I TOLD THEM that my brother tried to rape me. Mom and dad came home that week-end and (I still can see mom sitting at the kitchen table and dad pacing the floor) I told them what happen and mom sat there and said 'She's lying'... That is the day that I decided I could NOT live in the house anymore..... I had to get out of there.
Needless to say that mom and I were water and oil. My best friend introduced me to her husband like this,' this is Judy if she stepped on a blade of grass wrong her mother would beat her ass.'
I got pregnant at 16 and was married at 16 1/2. I loved Cliff but every time he started to love me, he always cheated on me, he even tried leaving me. And he would he abusive to me he had been known to break my nose blacken my eyes and he tried to make me miscarriage. We were married for 5 years. We had 3 children, Carla, Kai and Cliff. Mike came along in a lonely time in my life No child support coming in living on welfare, no car and the trailer I was renting was way out in the country. I felt so alone so I jumped at the chance when he asked me to marry him. Even though he was in trouble with the law... I told him the 1st time he got in trouble while we were married I would leave... I got pregnant with Michele and he did a B and E. I stayed with him till sentencing (he was also getting to the point where he throws things at me). Bob came into my life when Michele was 9 months old we didn't get married, for almost a year later. Bob was an alcoholic, oh; he could put the beer away. I got to the point I wanted God to Kill him.....Well he did sometime better; he brought a councilor, Marty, into our lives. She got him to turn his life around... we had two children Sunshine and Daryn. Bob had worked two jobs trying to make ends meet Child support started coming in 1984 and it was 20.00 a week for all three children (Carla 14, Kai 12 and Cliff 10). I would laugh at it because it wasn't enough for their school lunches...
Daryn at the age of 5 was wearing size two clothes and was wearing them out. We took him to the Drs and they sent us to Dayton Children's Hospital were they did a lot more testing. They diagnosed him with a Growth Hormone deficiency.We gave him shots 3 times a week. Every 3 months. It cost 3,000 dollars for the medicine.Things started to fall apart for us in 1987-88 Carla and Kai, for their true loves and got pregnant...Moving out, Bob losing his jobs... So we decided to move to Florida.Cliff decides he want to see his dad well it ended up he wanted to live with him. The Drs did a MRI on Daryn in 1989. They discover the cause for the lack of growth a cyst in his brain, he was born with it, and by now it was pushing is brain to the skull he had to have surgery in two weeks. He has learning problems because of it. The lawyers told us since he didn't die we can't do anything!!!!
We move back to Ohio 1990 Bob's back started giving him problems well sometime in 1991-2005 he has had 13 back surgeries.Our son Cliff passed away 1991 in his dads care. He had kicked him out of the house a week earlier and they didn't notify me. He was on the railroad track when a train hit him. Needless to say his dad and I fought...... I have his remains. But he would call my mom and dad and say stuff like ' I walked the tracks today and found a piece for his ear and I buried it.' Him as his wife didn't stop there I got the calls too. Florida sheriff told me that this was the fourth suicide on those tracks since the first of the year, he died in March. Reports said he had NOTHING in his system.I went to or city police dept and cried on a cops shoulder and well an Investigator was going to Florida and they would look in on this for us. He came back saying he believed that he was killed and place on the tracks.
Well I would love to tell you things ended there but that would be a lie............ By this my brother was going through a divorce. he came to me and asks me" If you get called into court I need you to tell them that you wanted it." I ask Bob to pray cause if I would get on the stand and say I wanted it, Mom would say see I told you , if I wouldn't I would drive mom further away..
Anyway what 5 years old knows anything like that.
Our son Daryn was way behind in growth his mind was that of a 12 year old when he was 18. He went to prison for playing with a girl's butt she was 9. I AM NOT SAYING THAT IT WAS NOT WRONG because it was. He had to learn the lesson.
Since my brother lived 2 hours and then it was in another state. Our daughters and I would take mom were ever she had to go (she didn't know how to drive). In 2006 mom had to have her right leg amputated. I told mom that we would move in if she would want us to. She went to the Nursing Home. There she starting to do funky things, she would remember my brother and his wife's name but NEVER mine (Which really lets you know how much you are loved). The Nursing Home decided she had dementia so they loaded her up with more meds. I kept telling my brother to come to see her well he kept putting it off. When he did come he didn't like what he saw... I asked him if we could move into the house and bring her home. When she came home she was out of it. She was like that for 3 months Sept, Oct, & Nov. In Nov she had to have the other leg amputated. The beginning of Dec I talked to the Home Healthcare nurse and told her that I believe that she didn't have dementia. The Drs told me to start to take her off of the meds slowly. By the end of Dec she was completely back. My brother came to see her at Thanksgiving for 2 days and Christmas for 2 days.We started to take mom out shopping and out to eat. She was learning how to walk again the week before she passed away (End of Feb 2007) we took her to IHOP then to Meijer shopping.
Well the Topper to this story is ............ Moms Will , She left the house to my brother and me, insurance policies were all his, enough money in her account to give the grandkids what she left them and enough to pay the attorney.( She had told my daughter Michele she wanted to change her will, she thought she had more time..) Well I want the house...... so I paid water, electric, gas, doctor bills....... Well my brother has other ideas... He wants me to sell the house... I never got paid for taking care of her nor do I really want to. We sold our home to take care of her. BUT this is still not the topper.I wrote my brother and told him he should let me have the house after what he had done to me. I would not keep my mouth shut anymore because; the people I didn't want to hurt had passed away.... The house appraised at 108,000- 91,000.he decided he would sell his half to me for 50,000. Not a Dime less! Well I had the loan, then by the time he came up to sign the papers (a month) the economy started to fall. There goes to loan.......... (2007) we ask to do land contract for two years. He won't do that.I talked the sheriff dept.'s right after mom passed. What if anything can be done about my Brother? They said they could call him in and talk to him. The other one says nothing can be done BUT I could sue him (Now try to find a lawyer)... I guess what I don't understand is why is the catholic Priest and nuns get prosecuted?? The explanation I get is that they are a block of their own. My question is isn't that discrimination? I guess here in Ohio there is a time limit. Why or how come can the law pertain to some and not others???I know it has been a long time but I DID NOT want to hurt my mom I feel that she would of disowned me if I would of ever do anything.....All I ever wanted from her was to except, believe, and to love me....
Here I am 54 years old and still hurting with every fiber of my being. I was told by one of his children I should forget it. I wonder if it would of happen to her if she would feel the same way...
As I am sitting here writing this my brother has filed for the house to go up for auction so now I am waiting for it to happen it looks it probably be auction will be in the middle of Dec. or in Jan More reason for me to feel the way I do..Sometimes I feel like I was put on this earth for my brother sex toy... How much more unloved can he make me feel?? Don't get me wrong Bob and my children were the best thing that has ever happened to me. They keep me to want to live. But I will tell you I am tired and worn out.
I guess I want to tell anyone that has thing like this happen to them. The pain gets worse over the years and it never goes away. PROTECT yourself from that, because Nothing or No One can help .They can tell you what to do but they don't know if it will work, they have never been in my shoes.God knows that I wanted to keep this house it is the only why I can feel close to mom and I feel that if I lose it. I have loss everything... But unless a miracle happens I have I have loss..... I am just waiting for a date...
Up date it has been set for Jan 22, 2009
I will tell you about myself. I am the one that the system has failed over and over again. Everything that has happened in my life is web into my soul. Things I have never told to anyone. I shame I feel and the hurt. Blaming myself for what has happen, the insecurities, the worthlessness and yea not worthy of love or anything good in my life.
I was born on June 25th 1953. My mom and dad had given up trying to have another child when I came along. She had my brother 7 years before me.My brother had three accidents when he was 2-3 years old. The first one was ... Mom had a pan of oil on the stove and he pulled the pan down, his chest was burn pretty bad. The second one he fell down a flight of stairs. The third one (I think) was pneumonia. The Drs told mom and dad that one of these accidents caused his deafness... They didn't discover that he was deaf until he was about 9 years old. Mom always blamed herself for it. She would always say how she would whip him for things, because she did not know that he was deaf. Mom and Dad had to drive him 120 miles to a deaf school, where he lived most of his life. He would come home on some week-ends and would be home some weeks during the summer.Now back to me...I don't know when things started. I can only remember back to the age of 5, my brother molested me. I would tell my mom and she would tell me I was lying. So I guess I started thinking that it was ok. At the age of 8 my cousins had come for a visit, yes they witnesses it.
That summer mom was sleeping (she worked third shift) he was ironing, he had got mad at me and he took the iron and put it on my arm 1st-3rd degree burn from my wrist to my elbow. I screamed and woke mom up and well... Mom said that he was punished enough just by knowing what he had done to me.
At the age of 10 when young girls learn about Mother Nature is when I decided I was not going to let it happen anymore. Well, he still would over power me and he started saying that he would kill mom and dad if I would tell them...So Shhhh....Don't Tell... I believe when I had turned 12 and my brother got married things would stop even though they lived with us. We move from one town to another one, that was 10 miles away, different counties on my 13th b-day.
One year had passed he had left me alone. YEA!!! New home, new school starting 7th grade, riding a bus to school I can breath, a new start... One day after school let out I was at my locker and my brother came up and said that mom and dad had asked him to come and pick me up. I had no reason not to believe him. Well he didn't take me home he took me out in the country and he raped me... I can't remember why I didn't tell, maybe cause deep down inside I knew it would be pointless.
My brother and his wife, with mom and dad's help, bought the house right across the street. He left me alone again. WHEW!!!!!! At 16 my mom and dad decided they were going to Florida while I was in school. I could stay at the house till it was bedtime then I was to go over to my brothers house. Things went along TILL........ One day I was doing my home work and he came over he asked me if he could help me and I told him no. Well Home work was the last thing that was on his mind... I sort of had a sinking feeling, so I was kind of prepared myself..... I made it into mom and dad's bathroom and lock the door, BUT NOT; before he had hit me over and over again I had black and blue marks all over my neck and face... I call my girlfriend when he had left she came down right away and I told her what had happened. My boyfriend came with his friend and I told them. I ended up staying with her family, till mom and dad came home... Oh when I went to school everyone would ask me what had happened I TOLD THEM that my brother tried to rape me. Mom and dad came home that week-end and (I still can see mom sitting at the kitchen table and dad pacing the floor) I told them what happen and mom sat there and said 'She's lying'... That is the day that I decided I could NOT live in the house anymore..... I had to get out of there.
Needless to say that mom and I were water and oil. My best friend introduced me to her husband like this,' this is Judy if she stepped on a blade of grass wrong her mother would beat her ass.'
I got pregnant at 16 and was married at 16 1/2. I loved Cliff but every time he started to love me, he always cheated on me, he even tried leaving me. And he would he abusive to me he had been known to break my nose blacken my eyes and he tried to make me miscarriage. We were married for 5 years. We had 3 children, Carla, Kai and Cliff. Mike came along in a lonely time in my life No child support coming in living on welfare, no car and the trailer I was renting was way out in the country. I felt so alone so I jumped at the chance when he asked me to marry him. Even though he was in trouble with the law... I told him the 1st time he got in trouble while we were married I would leave... I got pregnant with Michele and he did a B and E. I stayed with him till sentencing (he was also getting to the point where he throws things at me). Bob came into my life when Michele was 9 months old we didn't get married, for almost a year later. Bob was an alcoholic, oh; he could put the beer away. I got to the point I wanted God to Kill him.....Well he did sometime better; he brought a councilor, Marty, into our lives. She got him to turn his life around... we had two children Sunshine and Daryn. Bob had worked two jobs trying to make ends meet Child support started coming in 1984 and it was 20.00 a week for all three children (Carla 14, Kai 12 and Cliff 10). I would laugh at it because it wasn't enough for their school lunches...
Daryn at the age of 5 was wearing size two clothes and was wearing them out. We took him to the Drs and they sent us to Dayton Children's Hospital were they did a lot more testing. They diagnosed him with a Growth Hormone deficiency.We gave him shots 3 times a week. Every 3 months. It cost 3,000 dollars for the medicine.Things started to fall apart for us in 1987-88 Carla and Kai, for their true loves and got pregnant...Moving out, Bob losing his jobs... So we decided to move to Florida.Cliff decides he want to see his dad well it ended up he wanted to live with him. The Drs did a MRI on Daryn in 1989. They discover the cause for the lack of growth a cyst in his brain, he was born with it, and by now it was pushing is brain to the skull he had to have surgery in two weeks. He has learning problems because of it. The lawyers told us since he didn't die we can't do anything!!!!
We move back to Ohio 1990 Bob's back started giving him problems well sometime in 1991-2005 he has had 13 back surgeries.Our son Cliff passed away 1991 in his dads care. He had kicked him out of the house a week earlier and they didn't notify me. He was on the railroad track when a train hit him. Needless to say his dad and I fought...... I have his remains. But he would call my mom and dad and say stuff like ' I walked the tracks today and found a piece for his ear and I buried it.' Him as his wife didn't stop there I got the calls too. Florida sheriff told me that this was the fourth suicide on those tracks since the first of the year, he died in March. Reports said he had NOTHING in his system.I went to or city police dept and cried on a cops shoulder and well an Investigator was going to Florida and they would look in on this for us. He came back saying he believed that he was killed and place on the tracks.
Well I would love to tell you things ended there but that would be a lie............ By this my brother was going through a divorce. he came to me and asks me" If you get called into court I need you to tell them that you wanted it." I ask Bob to pray cause if I would get on the stand and say I wanted it, Mom would say see I told you , if I wouldn't I would drive mom further away..
Anyway what 5 years old knows anything like that.
Our son Daryn was way behind in growth his mind was that of a 12 year old when he was 18. He went to prison for playing with a girl's butt she was 9. I AM NOT SAYING THAT IT WAS NOT WRONG because it was. He had to learn the lesson.
Since my brother lived 2 hours and then it was in another state. Our daughters and I would take mom were ever she had to go (she didn't know how to drive). In 2006 mom had to have her right leg amputated. I told mom that we would move in if she would want us to. She went to the Nursing Home. There she starting to do funky things, she would remember my brother and his wife's name but NEVER mine (Which really lets you know how much you are loved). The Nursing Home decided she had dementia so they loaded her up with more meds. I kept telling my brother to come to see her well he kept putting it off. When he did come he didn't like what he saw... I asked him if we could move into the house and bring her home. When she came home she was out of it. She was like that for 3 months Sept, Oct, & Nov. In Nov she had to have the other leg amputated. The beginning of Dec I talked to the Home Healthcare nurse and told her that I believe that she didn't have dementia. The Drs told me to start to take her off of the meds slowly. By the end of Dec she was completely back. My brother came to see her at Thanksgiving for 2 days and Christmas for 2 days.We started to take mom out shopping and out to eat. She was learning how to walk again the week before she passed away (End of Feb 2007) we took her to IHOP then to Meijer shopping.
Well the Topper to this story is ............ Moms Will , She left the house to my brother and me, insurance policies were all his, enough money in her account to give the grandkids what she left them and enough to pay the attorney.( She had told my daughter Michele she wanted to change her will, she thought she had more time..) Well I want the house...... so I paid water, electric, gas, doctor bills....... Well my brother has other ideas... He wants me to sell the house... I never got paid for taking care of her nor do I really want to. We sold our home to take care of her. BUT this is still not the topper.I wrote my brother and told him he should let me have the house after what he had done to me. I would not keep my mouth shut anymore because; the people I didn't want to hurt had passed away.... The house appraised at 108,000- 91,000.he decided he would sell his half to me for 50,000. Not a Dime less! Well I had the loan, then by the time he came up to sign the papers (a month) the economy started to fall. There goes to loan.......... (2007) we ask to do land contract for two years. He won't do that.I talked the sheriff dept.'s right after mom passed. What if anything can be done about my Brother? They said they could call him in and talk to him. The other one says nothing can be done BUT I could sue him (Now try to find a lawyer)... I guess what I don't understand is why is the catholic Priest and nuns get prosecuted?? The explanation I get is that they are a block of their own. My question is isn't that discrimination? I guess here in Ohio there is a time limit. Why or how come can the law pertain to some and not others???I know it has been a long time but I DID NOT want to hurt my mom I feel that she would of disowned me if I would of ever do anything.....All I ever wanted from her was to except, believe, and to love me....
Here I am 54 years old and still hurting with every fiber of my being. I was told by one of his children I should forget it. I wonder if it would of happen to her if she would feel the same way...
As I am sitting here writing this my brother has filed for the house to go up for auction so now I am waiting for it to happen it looks it probably be auction will be in the middle of Dec. or in Jan More reason for me to feel the way I do..Sometimes I feel like I was put on this earth for my brother sex toy... How much more unloved can he make me feel?? Don't get me wrong Bob and my children were the best thing that has ever happened to me. They keep me to want to live. But I will tell you I am tired and worn out.
I guess I want to tell anyone that has thing like this happen to them. The pain gets worse over the years and it never goes away. PROTECT yourself from that, because Nothing or No One can help .They can tell you what to do but they don't know if it will work, they have never been in my shoes.God knows that I wanted to keep this house it is the only why I can feel close to mom and I feel that if I lose it. I have loss everything... But unless a miracle happens I have I have loss..... I am just waiting for a date...
Up date it has been set for Jan 22, 2009
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